The last few weeks were hard. I felt buried in work and caught in my own thoughts. I kept going until I finally broke down.

My friends and especially Hemanth was with me through it. Although I keep things personal, some days I leaned on him for support. Some days I pulled away. I know it was not easy, but he stayed and that mattered.

One evening I was riding back home on my bike. My head was full, and I felt the stress climbing. I stopped at a small coffee shop and sat there scrolling through my gallery. We recently bought a few fishes, worried about their change of water, I had their movements recorded. So I watched their clips. They move, they eat, they chase each other, and then they rest. No overthinking, no guilt, no weight of tomorrow. Watching them somehow brought the thought back to me: I am just a virus in the body of the universe.

As the old saying goes, a virus does not stop to think. It just moves. It keeps going. I realised I had been living the same way, always tuned to keep doing, always moving.

  • Sometimes the virus wants to break out of the circle and leave it all behind.
  • Sometimes it feels safe staying inside, moving in the rhythm it knows.
  • Sometimes it adds more, spreading, creating, touching the other viruses around it to create impact.
  • Sometimes the load is too heavy for one small virus to carry or make an impact. It just lives.

That thought humbled me. Maybe that is enough for me too. To get stuck someday, not get stuck someday, grow into a bigger virus, eat all I want, infect the universe around me, and then try to save it. Or wait for good bacteriophage to get poured in the universe to save itself upon luck. It does not always have to make sense. That is just how we are.

I remember once telling a friend that probability is something I never fully understood. But this analogy, in its own strange way, made more sense to me. We create, we share, we touch the lives around us or maybe we don't. I am just here for now, part of the circle, part of the building. We are some species thats trying to make, trying to know itself. And maybe that is enough.